The Greatest Musical Legend of All Time

Submission for Time Travel Flash Fiction Challenge

The toilet had the most massive bowel movement she’d ever seen in her life. How could a 13-year-old make a giant mound of that size was beyond her comprehension.

She yelled downstairs, “John get up here!”


“Just get up here!” she yelled again.

John started to whine after hearing the second order from his mom, “but I’m in the middle of this game!”

Lori marched downstairs and without any warning, pulled the plug on the PlayStation, “I asked you to come upstairs. Now.”

“Fine,” sighed John. He dragged himself upstairs. Usually when his mom unplugs the electronics, its pretty bad.

Lori pointed towards the bathroom. “Toilet,” she said.

“That’s not even a full sentence!” teased John.

Lori just ignored him. She was NOT going to be the one unclogging the toilet.

John went into the bathroom and caught sight of the giant log in the bowl and his eyes widened, “Geez mom, that’s a HUGE one!”

Lori’s cheeks turned red and she smacked the back of his head with her hand, “That’s not mine!”

“Well it’s not mine!”

Lori yanked the decorative plunger from its base and shoved it into John’s hand. “You’re cleaning it up.”

“Don’t make me clean up your mess!” begged John.

Then the toilet made a strange gurgling sound that interrupted their argument.


A huge bubble rose out of the base of the toilet and rocked the bowl’s water.


A massive chocolate roll had appeared out of nowhere. Lori and John just stared at it as time stood still.

Lori spoke first, “Uh, I believe you now.”

“Where did that come from?” asked John.

“I have no idea,” she said.


A stench was starting to waft from the bowl. Lori covered her nose and started spraying the air frantically with Fabreeze. “How do we make it stop?”

John could detect a sense of true panic in her mom’s voice. He put his arms around her and pulled out his iPhone. “Want me to dial 911?”

“No,” she composed herself and reasoned, “it’s not that kind of emergency, look up a plumber.”


Dookie mountain was growing fast.


“Yes!” Lori screamed. “Call 911! Call 911!”

John quickly dialed 911 and waited for somebody to answer.


“911 operator, what’s your emergency?”

Before John could answer, a burst of light appeared, and a well-dressed man in a silver suit faded into the bathroom. John dropped his phone onto the bathroom floor, which shattered the screen.

The man pointed to the phone, “We solved that you know.”

“What?” asked John.

“Broken screens, they don’t break in the future.”

“Whaaaaaaat?” asked John again.

The man winced at the smell, “We still haven’t solved that. Crap still stinks in the future.”

He paused and studied the mess, “Look, I’m truly sorry about this. I had dropped my spare time-bending watch into the toilet at the Kanye West Tribute Concert to the Greatest Musical Legend of All Time.”

The man glanced at the overflowing toilet and sighed, “What a fungal nightmare.”



Balancer by Patrick WongWhat if you had the power to control Life? But in order to heal you had to harm to maintain balance in the world. Find out what happens to Nicole in The Final Deity Series. Available now at Amazon.

A suburban teen finds herself caught up in a series of inexplicable miracles, until she is forced to confront the startling truth about herself: She has the power to give life or take life from every living thing around her. As Nicole explores the extent of her powers, her activities attract the attention of government agents. The concepts of right and wrong will be blurred in this new urban fantasy novel as Nicole struggles to maintain her innocence in a fight for her life.

Genre: Middle-Grade/Young-Adult, Urban Science Fiction, Coming Of Age

BALANCER, The Final Deity Book 1

TAKER, The Final Deity Book 2